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Thursday, February 6, 2014

Top 5 Things a Mom of a Toddler Wants for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day always seems to be awash in things that are fru fru and fancy, but seldom reflect what a mom wants or even  needs. 

I do not need a 5 pound box of candy. I am already carrying around a lot of..um...fat. Chances are if you buy me candy, there is a toddler who is going to eat it. She will not let me eat a thing without sharing. Not going to happen.

Flowers are ok, but with a toddler around, I cannot put them anywhere that I can actually enjoy them. Then when they die on the top shelf of the tv stand, I cannot reach to clean up the mess.

Jewelry is ok, but again with the toddler, I cannot yet wear it without it being in danger. She hangs off of every part of me, and pulls on earrings.. so that is a negative. Not sure when that phase ends. I will let you know.

Lingerie- no. Just no. I am wearing nursing camis and granny pants. I do not need to be reminded about under wire bras and thongs right now. Or maybe ever again. I am certain that no man, or even myself can successfully navigate "lingerie" right now. 

So what does that leave?

1. A bath

I have not had a bath in over 2 years. Really. I had a baby in the tub, but it was not a bath, it does not count. I couldn't get in and out of the tub the last few months of pregnancy, so that is the last time I got one. 
And when I say bath, I don't mean something sexy. I don't want anyone watching me. Not you, not the toddler. Not even the dog. 
You set this up...Door closed. Candles on. Bubbles or bath salts (nothing to irritate delicate lady bits though ok?)
Think organic.
Music is good. Preferably something to drown out the sound of what the toddler is destroying while I bathe...ok, so maybe that is an idea.

 You and the toddler go away for awhile. lol

2. A haircut

I have had exactly one in 2 years. I need one more than that I suppose. If I was doing more than freelance work from home, I would probably tend more to this but at this point it feels like a luxury to me. It would feel really nice to have someone else wash my hair. Really. It would also be nice to be able to have this done without a toddler screaming in the background. 

3. A new pair of yoga pants

No really. I have been wearing the same old pair of about 2 years. My fave capris are pretty faded too, but I am not ready to pay money for anything with a zipper or drawstring or anything that doesn't come in a s/m/l/x/1x/2x/3x.

4. A backrub and a footrub, with no expectations 

I know rubbing can be sexy for the man folk. As a mom though, sometimes I feel like if I get a rubdown, it is a pretext for sexy time.. lol. It is not often that I can engage in being the mom all day, do my freelance work, then having said rubdown and then sexy time. I like to sleep after this rubdown.. k?

5. Gift cards for places that deliver food

This is another rather unsexy thing. I have to say that some days getting dinner on the table for everyone is a chore I could do without. I don't care to spend so much though. If you want to treat me to some gift cards for local places we all like to eat at, that deliver, that would be incredible. A meal somewhere down the line that does not require shopping, dishwashing and such. Just food. Arrives at door, and we all sit down and eat it. Done.

That is my list...what is on yours?